does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
