Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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