if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
