I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
