You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
