what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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