it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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