Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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