I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
