I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize