You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize