You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
