i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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