are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
