Already got asked if we're dating
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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