it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
