I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
