I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Quick, to the slutcave!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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