How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
