For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
