69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
