I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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