Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
