if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
