Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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