Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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