You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
