I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize