Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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