My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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