Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize