So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
