i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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