Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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