The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
