I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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