Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
