It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
