Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
