u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
