That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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