Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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