You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
