My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
