Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
