so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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