What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize