Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
