I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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