I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize