i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I AM VODKA MAN
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
