Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
