Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
