I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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