its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
