Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
