Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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