I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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