You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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