so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
