I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize