never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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