I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
ttyl tear gas
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
