Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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