Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
