4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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