i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
