Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
